'Go to sleep, my love. Everything seems better with the morning sun.'
It does. There is this Oscar Wilde quote:
' It may seem plausible enough tonight, but wait for tomorrow. Wait for the common sense of morning.'
The night he and I broke up, I wouldn't have blocked him. I was angry and heart broken by his words, but I wouldn't have blocked him. Because when the morning sun would hit us, we'd still be hurt and upset but we'd be in love again. We wouldn't be angry enough to let go. I knew this. And I blocked him. I blocked him because that was the time when I could, when I was justified. I knew I wouldn't have a stronger reason to leave.
I knew I could escape.
I did. I escaped to never come back. I stepped out from a troublesome room where I was unable to breathe and where I was trapped from infinity, I stepped out not even knowing if I would see the light of the shining sun or darkness so heavy that I wouldn't be able make out if my eyes are open or closed. I was unsure. But I took the step, the step out of that room. Why?
Because all I knew was I wasn't happy there. Not truly.
Even if that room gave me peace and security, it wouldn't have given me happiness. So, in search for happiness, I let go of security. I welcomed loneliness and hopelessness. I just cared about being happy. For some time, I wasn't. I always thought if I had done the right thing leaving that room behind. If I was protesting my stars and if I was doing what I wasn't supposed to do. If I was being unfair to another being. Most nights, I almost believed, I was.
Then, I thought of my parents. My life. You.
It gave me enough strength to wait. Few months and times changed. My loosing faith settled. I was finally beginning to be happy. I was happy. Crying, hurt but happy. However, maybe I mistook freedom for happiness. Because when my inner crying self burst out, I gave up. I yearned for the security. Not the room, but security. When I failed to receive it from any source. I went back to the room, defeated. Unhappy. By that time I had realized I didn't belong to this room but for momentary sense of security, I decided against my senses.
But the stars rule, don't they?
Thank heavens my senses kicked in at the right time, thank heavens my stars sent you to guide me or be my light. I knew I was doing everything wrong.
So, finally, with a heavy heart, I left, I flew too far away to ever trace my way back down. And that is when I found you.
Fiction.
Maudita Singh
It does. There is this Oscar Wilde quote:
' It may seem plausible enough tonight, but wait for tomorrow. Wait for the common sense of morning.'
The night he and I broke up, I wouldn't have blocked him. I was angry and heart broken by his words, but I wouldn't have blocked him. Because when the morning sun would hit us, we'd still be hurt and upset but we'd be in love again. We wouldn't be angry enough to let go. I knew this. And I blocked him. I blocked him because that was the time when I could, when I was justified. I knew I wouldn't have a stronger reason to leave.
I knew I could escape.
I did. I escaped to never come back. I stepped out from a troublesome room where I was unable to breathe and where I was trapped from infinity, I stepped out not even knowing if I would see the light of the shining sun or darkness so heavy that I wouldn't be able make out if my eyes are open or closed. I was unsure. But I took the step, the step out of that room. Why?
Because all I knew was I wasn't happy there. Not truly.
Even if that room gave me peace and security, it wouldn't have given me happiness. So, in search for happiness, I let go of security. I welcomed loneliness and hopelessness. I just cared about being happy. For some time, I wasn't. I always thought if I had done the right thing leaving that room behind. If I was protesting my stars and if I was doing what I wasn't supposed to do. If I was being unfair to another being. Most nights, I almost believed, I was.
Then, I thought of my parents. My life. You.
It gave me enough strength to wait. Few months and times changed. My loosing faith settled. I was finally beginning to be happy. I was happy. Crying, hurt but happy. However, maybe I mistook freedom for happiness. Because when my inner crying self burst out, I gave up. I yearned for the security. Not the room, but security. When I failed to receive it from any source. I went back to the room, defeated. Unhappy. By that time I had realized I didn't belong to this room but for momentary sense of security, I decided against my senses.
But the stars rule, don't they?
Thank heavens my senses kicked in at the right time, thank heavens my stars sent you to guide me or be my light. I knew I was doing everything wrong.
So, finally, with a heavy heart, I left, I flew too far away to ever trace my way back down. And that is when I found you.
Fiction.
Maudita Singh
